Adventure in that sweet end of the year recap

It’s been another long, hard year. Longer and harder than the last, and while there are three assaults, several things quit, several breakdowns, and three jobs to account for, I can proudly say that I believe I’m coming out on top at the end of this year.

I know the year isn’t out yet, but it’s coming quickly to a close. By December 31 I’ll have written another 365 affirmations. I’ll have baked dozens of pies. I’ll have walked away from an abusive relationship. I’ll have found myself happier than I’ve ever been. I’ll have a year’s worth of performances. I’ll have been carried every day by the amazing people around me.

To all of you who kept me alive, kept me moving, let me walk away, encouraged me to care for myself, pushed me to get medicated, to go to therapy, sat in waiting rooms, gave rides, made food, shared drinks, shared pies, laughed, cried, and made this year so much more survivable than it should have been, I cannot thank you enough. There will never be the right words to tell you all how grateful I am. I’m truly glad you’re here, and to be honest, I’m glad I am too.

Even when the president was a garbage monster, I was overwhelmed by the turnout at the Women’s March in Fort Wayne.

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Even if some of the people involved never want to do it again, some experiments were incredibly fun.16251600_738344007069_46638419092298257_o

Even before hearts could break these beautiful people carried me…16601993_740999814809_6942464481737456362_o

All of the way to Hamilton.16711614_740998866709_7818828266064837139_n

Even when I was terrified, trying something new turned out to be worth it.16730524_742450637349_4618804926848771086_n

Even when 30 sounded overwhelming, I ended up having the best birthday of my life because of the best people in my life.17190724_745227677139_4967836374368135413_n17191086_745224044419_8844880199891172985_n17157477_745223794919_4361919814588623667_oEven when you have to change venues and start again, only to have it better than before.17546720_748205349859_2125545731000292964_o

Even when overwhelmed by nerves…17807529_784848127623_1598973167554578482_o

There’s still always Danny!17523526_749513168979_8867264401764274936_n

And this sweet angel.17457837_749513263789_7159511263563276252_n

Even when anxiety and heartache took some of the best of me, I overcame them because friends are incredible.17917214_10209733195181988_8293464469803793200_o

Even though it was a lot of miles, Andy Kindler is one of the greatest treasures of the year.17917774_787199924603_9083303412647922170_o

Even when I lost, I still got completely empowered on stage.17991827_752373167519_1824191913325213664_n

Even when persuaded to play games, I was still in the comfort of loving friends.17917676_751565201689_1851780525447744311_o

Even when middle schoolers become frustrating, with the right partner…18268217_755515056149_8379591752399821289_nThey’re the very best.18581560_10155287043816798_5017473034651794924_n

When palm readings are grossly inaccurate, best friends still have perfect times.18813572_760974974429_4089106244657552477_n

When exhausted by our own projects…18556369_757521699819_1661612691166103137_n

best buddies

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Can still find time to support other buddies.18491511_757930979619_7316280014547397539_oBecause pie and poetry will always bring people together.19250703_766545990069_4136428334478418425_o

When Creative30for30 continues to push you.18922110_761136460809_5115453934730691338_n18953115_762251685889_393456280527573779_n19060194_762661529559_6203294577049303261_n-1When months of work finally pay off.20604264_773035430179_3379186485753475228_nAnd there are so many new buddies to be made.20638749_1494887870605642_2552421986454894591_nHelping keep you grounded and alive when the only reason they do is because they’re good and kind.20621244_773438212999_9088166461119203485_nWhen you get the opportunity again to be someone you admire.22552945_785740149819_1758320508824836465_o22814081_10159351550785532_1568235408800689507_n22815599_10159351550855532_8883764768971467943_nWhen you aren’t sure what you agreed to, but you’re so glad you did it.24799471_792206426349_5381458252681953215_oWhen the person you talk to the most, adore the most, love the most, stops being your wonderful cat, but someone who reads Harry Potter with you and keeps you balanced.24177188_791589123429_3237335387358843846_nIt’s been a hard, hard year. I don’t know that they’re going to get easier. I can only hope they can continue to be filled with this much love.

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Affirmation 12/14/17

Today, make a choice. Choose to, as best as your heart and mind are able, to love and be kind and understanding. We’re all in this together, so make the choice to give the things into the world that you also need.

I’m glad you’re here.

Affirmation 12/13/17

Friend, it’s messy, and it’s hard–life, growth, heartache, all of it. So deep breath. It’s not going to always be easy, but beautiful and worthwhile things rarely are. You, my friend, are beautiful and worthwhile. It’s trying, I know, but it is okay to let yourself change and grow. Breathe into your strength and push forward. It’s okay to fall back. That really is okay. You’re not alone. You’re doing beautifully.

I’m glad you’re here.

Affirmation 12/12/17

Deep breath. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to try again. It is okay to walk away if it won’t work. Mistakes help us learn. Deep breath. Let go of the idea of failure because of a mistake. Take stock of what you now know. Move forward with new knowledge.

I’m glad you’re here.

Affirmation 12/11/17

Friend, you cannot control what anyone else thinks of you, says about you, believes about you. You can control what you think of you, say about you, believe about you. Choose to love yourself. Look at how far you’ve come, what you’ve accomplished, what’s you’ve powered through. People may think what they want, but they’ll never know where you started. You’re doing beautifully.

I’m glad you’re here.

Affirmation 12/7/17

The world is full of good and beauty and magic. Yes, it has darkness, but look around you. There is so much light, so much good, so much beauty, so much magic. If you can’t see it, start by looking at yourself, because you, my friend, are magic.

I’m glad you’re here.

Affirmation 12/6/17

You are relentless. You continue. You struggle. You succeed. You fail. You continue. You try and try. You pick yourself up and start again. You’ve done it over and over. Today is no different. It is just another day. You can do this one.

I’m glad you’re here.