Winter may have just started, and I know that for so many that means so many scary brain spaces. Having just spent the last 6 months in a brain space a pure chaos, I welcome the quiet. I also welcome the medication. Because here’s the good news.
I went back to the new family doctor I had previously seen, who had come across as uninterested. This time. She was interested. Or at least her nurse was. But let’s start with the neurologist. He was condescending. He was unhelpful. He basically told me that because I had not been fired, I had no real cause for concern. He did say he saw no signs of MS on my MRI, but otherwise he also thought I had no reasons to be concerned. Because you know how when you get fired from a job the first thing your family always does is rush you to the emergency room because it’s usually cancer? First sign of a debilitating disease is always loss of job. I’ve taken precautions at work to maintain my work. Notes across my desk. And that’s not to say what’s been going on hasn’t affected my work. It has. Ask any of my coworkers. They see it. They worry. Ultimately, he handed me a prescription for migraine medication he didn’t explain scheduled me an appointment with a neuropsychologist and shoved me out the door. I felt very unheard. Especially, since I know my headaches are tension related.
So when I went back to my family physician and the nurse looked me in the eye, with concern. I got a little teary. When she explained to me that migraines some times don’t mean headaches at all. That some times migraines illicit stroke-like symptoms that cause your whole body to go numb. That some times hitting your head hard enough, especially if it goes unchecked, Dr. Jacqueline Akey, can really mess up the chemistry in your head and affect your memory and your processing. And that some times people who are otherwise healthy and intelligent get pushed aside when things start to go wrong, because they seem to have nothing wrong with them.
Ultimately, she thinks I’m going to be fine. Probably. The medication I am on will take some time to build up in my brain to do its job, so we’ll see about that, but the rest of me should go back to normal. She said to wait it out. If it doesn’t get better, I’m on the right track with the neuropsychologist. It may be more than the hit to the head, but it’s at least that.
Helpful Tip: Helmet.
Don’t take dares (just kidding. That’s dumb)
Don’t help friends move.
While, I wait on my brain to calm down, enjoy the winter with me. I know so many of you hate it, but enjoy the honesty of it. It’s naked, and it’s real. I think that scares us, because we live in a world where we want to hide who we are. Where we’re supposed to. Let winter show you how it’s done. And if that fails, let it teach you to a little to be kinder to your introverted friends. Because we get so exhausted in the summer with your parties and your porches and your cookouts. We don’t want to miss it all, but we have to reset. Let us have this time. And hey, it’s warm right now. So rub that mud in our faces for a while too.