As you know Leap Day happens once every four years. As you also know it is the day that Leap Day William comes out of the Mariana Trench to trade all of the children’s tears for candy. And if you don’t wear blue and yellow you get your eyes poked and your hair pulled. Oh, you didn’t know the last two? You probably don’t watch enough “30 Rock” then.
The philosophy of Leap Day is nothing you do counts. It’s not a real day. “Real life is for March!” Today even the weather has refused to go about its usual business. The weather is all “Still February? It’s supposed to be March right now. I’ll do what I want!” So it’s 69 degrees outside and mad sunny. So we’re clear it is still February. More like Fakeuary.
I once again looked like a cartoon character. Specifically I felt like I was supposed to be on Doug, but I don’t regret it. I ate a hamburger.
I had a dream last night that I aced an audition. Big crazy audition. There was a stage, and I belted some serious notes, which I absolutely can’t do. But it did make me really want to audition. All I could think about all day was if I knew where an audition was I’d go. I don’t even really want to be in a show, I just really want to audition. I imagine I’m glutton for punishment. Or at least ridicule.I don’t regret this face at all. I don’t regret tweeting it to “30 Rock.” I regret only one thing about this picture. I regret that you can’t see that my skirt is the mullet of skirts. Knee-length in the front, mid-calf-length in the back. I’m sorry you can’t see that.
I don’t have much to say about Leap Day. Not really, except that it makes me wish I was ballsier. To go out and do outrageous things I’ve never done before or wouldn’t ordinarily do. As it is, I’m not. I used to be, but I’m not anymore. I don’t know when that happened, but I suppose without any sort of audience in front of me I have no reason to be weird. I’m just regular weird. I should have lots of cats weird. Not Hayley’s playing floor is lava in the middle of this restaurant weird. Maybe some day I’ll get back to that. Or better, some combination there in the middle. A nice balance. Some day.
In the meantime, my big crazy thing of the day.I was just saying yesterday I’ve never had a Shamrock Shake, and I had no real desire to have one. Today I remembered it didn’t matter if I had one. So had one I did. My first only Shamrock Shake. That crap’s sick. PASS.
As Jack Donaghy says, “Leap Day is not a day to work, it’s a day to live! To celebrate!” So get on with it! Real life is for March.