“How’s life?” he asked.
“Boring,” I told him.
“How’s life?” I asked.
“Hectic,” he told me.
“Trade?” I asked.
“Deal?” He asked. “Tomorrow’s Monday so you’ll have class at 10, 1, 3, and 4. You watch ‘Heroes’ at 9 and go to McDonald’s at 11:30.”
“Tomorrow’s Monday so you wake up at noon and let the dog out whenever she wants. You watch ‘NCIS’ with mom. You watch ‘Big Bang Theory’ with dad, but you don’t laugh because he likes to explain it. You apply for jobs…Can I skip ‘Heroes’? I’m behind so I’d like to catch up first.”
“That’s fine. Can I skip applying for jobs?”
“That’s fine. It’s a long week. Go ahead and spread that out.”
Unemployment and a pending B.A. in English make me feel like a pretty worthless human being.
The other day I was with my grandmother, Nana (if you will. or if you won’t). She’s always full of useful employment suggestions. (I’m lying). She said to me, “Ya know, you can always apply at McDonald’s.”
“Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and keep applying for the jobs I think I deserve first and I’ll work my way down.”
And then…it turned into “Reality Bites.” I felt just like Winona Rider, only I don’t think I’ve ever stolen anything.
“They’ve got a little retarded boy running the cash register down there. You could do that know problem. Why don’t you go in and apply?”
“Because I’m not retarded, Nana.”
So I spent my Monday driving her around town. We even braved downtown. Even though she hates black people and was stunned that the man that took our bags at Salvation Army was actually “a nice lad.” She has to make a point to say it, because to her it’s a miracle if a black man is nice. As if it mattered. Even Emily Gilmore isn’t racist.
Doing making for “Beauty and the Beast” at Huntington for no pay keeps my mind active, but doesn’t really help me keep living.
Working with Kristen on her new play keeps my memory sharp, but isn’t really paying for anything (quite the opposite really).
I’ve got a stack of headshots of Matthias sitting on my desk because I need to figure out how to turn him into not just any hideous beast. I need to turn him into as much like the animated Beast as I can. Sadly I shall have to make him lose his beard eventually. It’d be helpful for the Beast, but not for the prince.
I need a job. Personal assistant. Production assistant. Office assistant. Companion to the elderly. I don’t think these are typical goals of 20-somethings, but screw you guys! I’m a moron!